5:1 Kindness Challenge Pledge

Be Kind, Small Kine and Bank’um.

What separates healthy and happy relationships from miserable ones is a balance of positive to negative interactions. Studies in the field of social psychology¹ show that it takes five positive interactions to make up for every one bad encounter you have with someone.

It is called the 5:1 Magic Ratio. Think of it as a simple formula for building healthy relationships (at home or at work²).

And, consider the impact beyond building relationships.

We experience approximately 20,000 individual moments in a waking day each lasting just a few seconds.³ The moments that make an indelible mark on our memory are not the neutral encounters we have with others, but the ones that are either positive or negative. Even though these encounters are only seconds long, they can be life-changing.

If you can change someone’s life in just a few seconds, why not make it for the better!

Pay someone a compliment.  Offer a few encouraging words.  Give a two thumbs ups.  Smile and gesture a show of appreciation.  Make someone laugh.  These simple actions can make someone’s day.

The good news is that you can bank good actions or encounters.  After all, we are human and we all have momentary lapses in judgement, or mindless, rushed moments when we don’t know what we are leaving in our wake. So, while you are consciously making someone’s day with a kind gesture, you are banking positive encounters to balance the scale when your lesser self takes over.

We challenge you to the Magic Ratio Kindness Challenge: Be Kind, Small Kine.

By signing the Kindness Challenge Pledge you commit to banking five (5) positive encounters each day during the month of October (that is 155 kind acts if you start on October 1, but you can start any time). These are your positive encounters—the ones you initiate.

Fill your relationship bank with good interactions, and make someone’s day!

Spread the word about spreading kindness.

Share your success with others on our website (acrhawaii.org), Facebook, Instagram and/or Twitter using one or more of these hashtags:

#KindnessChallenge5-1           

#BeKindSmallKine              #KindnessChallenge

Get your pledge form Here.

See the list of pledges here.

Note:

This challenge is dedicated to mediators, arbitrators, facilitators, and all conflict resolution practitioners and peacemakers throughout Hawaiʻi in acknowledgement of Conflict Resolution Day, celebrated annually on the third Thursday of October (October 18, 2018). 

Brought to you by:

The Association for Conflict Resolution-Hawaiʻi Chapter, The Mediation Center of the Pacific, the Matsunaga Institute for Peace and Conflict Resolution, the Hawaiʻi State Bar Association, ADR Section, and the Hawaiʻi State Judiciary Center for Alternative Dispute Resolution.

Research Footnotes:

1. John Gottman, Professor of Psychology at the University of Wisconsin, researched marriages and found that there is a “magic ratio” of 5 to 1—in terms of our balance of positive to negative interactions. Gottman found that marriages are significantly more likely to succeed when the couple’s interactions are near that 5 to 1 ratio of positive to negative.
2. Barbara Fredrickson and Marcial Losada’s mathematical modeling of positive to negative ratios found that workgroups with positive to negative interaction ratios greater than 3 to 1 are significantly more productive than teams that do not reach this ratio.
3. Nobel Prize-winning scientist Daniel Kahneman found that we experience approximately 20,000 individual moments in a waking day. Each “moment” lasts a few seconds.